BRANDYWINE, Del. – “Did you require a ‘tissue’ for your tears?”
The questions and others were included in a mocking “Hurt Feelings Report” form attached to an email sent to parents of Lombardy Elementary students Wednesday for an upcoming Exercise Your Brain Day, The News Journal reports.
The “principal purpose” of the sarcastic document is “to assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings” and advises applicants to “use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares.”
Brandywine School District spokeswoman Alexis Andrianopoulos said a staff member who emailed parents included the wrong attachment by mistake, and the fake form initially came from “a source external to the school” and is not “an official document of Lombardy Elementary of the Brandywine School District,” WLBZ reports.
“This was an embarrassing mistake, but it was just that – a mistake,” she wrote in an email. “It should not have happened, and we apologize for the error.”
The district’s Student Code of Conduct encourages students, parents and staff to “report instances of bullying or suspicions of bullying, with the understanding that all such reports will be listened to and taken seriously.”
The prank form parents received was obviously not serious.
It asks for the “whiner’s name and other information, as well as “type of whine used,” “date feelings were hurt,” “time of hurtfulness,” and “person who hurt your pansy ass feelings.”
“How long did you whine?” it reads. “Which feelings were hurt?”
Under “Part IV – Reason for Filing This Report,” it provides check boxes for reasons like “I am a wimp,” “I want my mommy,” and “Two beers is not enough,” among others.
The form also includes room for a narrative, where complainants can “Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared.”
“We, the Dept., take hurt feelings seriously,” the form concludes. “If you don’t have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will dispatch a ‘hugger’ to you ASAP. …
“If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every effort to provide you with a ‘blankie,’ a ‘binky,’ and/or a bottle if you so desire.”
The Lombardy principal sent a recorded phone message to parents apologizing for the mocking form, and officials also sent a corrected email to parents, a spokesperson told NBC Philadelphia.
The anonymous parent two tipped off the Journal to the attachment believes it’s “completely offensive and mocks children who are bullied in schools,” while others didn’t think the form was a big deal.
“If the children didn’t see it, what is the problem?” another parent told the news site as he picked up his child from school. “It was a dumb prank, but I don’t think it was malicious.”
NBC Philadelphia reports some parents actually enjoyed the email.