LANSING, Mich. – International Talk like a Pirate Day was celebrated on September 19. It’s the day when kids and grownups can utter phrases like “shiver me timbers,” wear an eyepatch, sport a hook hand, or pretend they’re Jack Sparrow.

Not to be outdone in the silliness department, was Michigan State Sen. Roger Kahn, R-Saginaw. For the second year in a row, he sponsored a resolution acknowledging the day “as a tribute to Michigan’s rich and vibrant history of piracy on the Great Lakes.” In particular, a nasty pirate named “Roaring Dan Seavey” is singled out in his resolution:

“After failing to strike it rich during the gold rush, a very impoverished Roaring Dan acquired a sailboat in 1900 and began his career as a pirate on the Great Lakes. On perhaps the most infamous night of Roaring Dan’s career, he climbed aboard a cargo ship, the Nellie Johnson, offered the crew alcohol until they were sufficiently intoxicated, threw them all overboard and sailed to Chicago to sell the ship’s cargo. After being arrested and released on bail for stealing the Nellie Johnson, Roaring Dan would go through life insisting he won it in a poker game … “

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When he’s not glamorizing maritime villains, Sen. Kahn is busy scoring a 14 (out of a possible 100) on the 2014 Michigan Tea Party fiscal responsibility scorecard.

Authored by Izzy Lyman

Published with permission